Update: Terry McMillan airs her dirty laundry on Oprah

In this previous article, I lamented the public spectacle that celebrated author Terry McMillan was making of the end of her marriage. I expressed consternation and profound disappointment about her decision to file divorce papers containing the intimate details that led to the breakdown of her marriage. After all, the world did not need to know that the Jamaican boy toy who helped her get her groove back was, in fact, gay and that he “did it” only for a green card and some cash.

But, perhaps my gender precluded me from fully appreciating the inner turmoil this failed relationship ignited in McMillan. Because when Oprah gave her the opportunity on Wednesday to confront her ex-husband Jonathan Plummer on TV, McMillan’s barely contained fury made it clear that she remains very much a woman scorned. And, when Oprah played secret recordings of messages she left for her husband after filing for divorce, McMillan came across as seething with more combustible resentment against him than the fiery resentment Muslim youths have expressed against the French government.

Nonetheless, she’s hardly the first woman to have been betrayed in this fashion. And, as I delineated in that previous article, Plummer might be the more aggrieved party in this messy affair. Moreover, if McMillan is still so bitter because she fears this failure might reflect badly on her personal integrity and professional reputation (especially given the success of How Stella Got Her Groove Back), one has to wonder why she did not finance a quiet divorce settlement (and deal with her emotional pain through private counseling).

As it is, the only thing damaging McMillan’s integrity and reputation is her making a public spectacle of her failed marriage. And, because I can think of no rationale for an otherwise mature and intelligent woman to behave in this manner, I have to think that rank homophobia (abetted by a punctured ego that cannot countenance losing her groove thing to a man), more than feelings of betrayal, is fueling her resentment. And, this is made painfully clear when one hears her on those recordings repeatedly damning Plummer as a "fucking fag": (Of course, on the show she made it clear that some of her best friends are gay....)

But, despite her bravado, McMillan is so emotionally vulnerable and conflicted that giving her a forum to vent on this subject is like inviting an alcoholic to happy hour. This was plain to see when she appeared on the Tavis Smiley Show several weeks ago, and only confirmed when Oprah elicited her confession that she invited Plummer to her home - just days before the taping of this show - for a bath: only, she would have us believe, because she has a big tub and he doesn’t have one.

Therefore, one has to wonder why the emotionally nurturing Oprah would enable McMillan’s inner turmoil by giving her this universal stage to air her dirty laundry. I would hate to think that it was just because it made for good TV ratings. Although the business savvy Oprah did not miss this synergistic opportunity to plug the fact that she has bought the rights to McMillan’s latest book The Interruption of Everything, and that she’s already in production to bring it to a movie theatre near you....

Note: One of the more interesting moments on the show came when Oprah asked Plummer why he thought he deserved a financial settlement. Amazingly, he was dumbstruck by this obvious question. Then Oprah declared that, but for his plea for some of McMillan’s millions, she would have found Plummer a sympathetic figure. Yet, even McMillan admitted that he was a 20-year old boy when she plucked him from Jamaica; and that he gave at least 4 years of wedded bliss...before they descended into this current state of marital purgatory.

Moreover, if McMillan’s behaviour is motivated by a zealous effort to keep Plummer from getting her money, then Oprah should be mindful that - as I delineated in the previous article, Plummer was more than incidental to McMillan's banking millions of dollars off his life story. And, notwithstanding her airtight pre-nuptial agreement, it's too bad McMillan does not have enough maturity, class and kind-heartedness to recognize that Plummer deserves something for that as well.

Endnote: A transcript of the utterances of a woman scorned does little justice to her head-shaking, eye-rolling, finger-pointing histrionics - especially if she’s a black woman (as I found so patently clear when I saw a tape of this Oprah show after reading some excerpts). Therefore, if you ever have a chance to see this Oprah show or the Tavis Smiley interview, I recommend watching it, if you're into Jerry Springer trash TV that is.)

Get a shrink Terri...and stay off TV

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