Deconstructing Kola Boof: Bestselling novelist and Osama’s black mistress

This is Kola Boof. Read her autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, and I’m sure you’ll agree that she’s worthy of acclaim as a modern-day hybrid of Mata Hari and Nefertiti.

Of course, I appreciate that you’ve probably seen her all over Cable TV this week flogging this sensational book, which the media would have you believe is only about her relationship with Osama bin Laden. And, given the incredulous attitude of almost all of her interviewers, you can be forgiven the impression that Kola is as much the former mistress of bin Laden as John Mark Karr is the murderer of JonBenet Ramsey.

But where my media fraudometer led me to dismiss Karr and other wannabe celebrities - like James Frey - as psycho-mendacious creeps, it compelled me to believe every titillating, sadomasochistic detail of Kola’s story. And here’s why:

I don’t mind admitting that memoir secrets of her boudoir appeal to my discriminating prurient intellect; especially if they include socially-redeeming insights. For example:

That, like so many Christian zealots, Osama the Muslim zealot is a hypocrite who demands moral rectitude and asceticism (even self-sacrifice) from his followers; yet – before American bombs forced him to become a cave dweller – he indulged in many of the western vices he preached against and was, in fact, a cussing , rock-n-roll-loving (Van Halen) , pot-smoking sex pervert (on his holier days…)!

That, like Southern slave masters who shunned their lily-white wives for more gratifying sex with their black American slaves, Osama shunned his Arab wives for more sublime carnal pleasures with his black lover Kola.

That, Osama was so obsessed with the sexual prowess of black women that – in addition to drawing up plans for terrorist attacks against the West – he also drew up a plan for a fatwa against (i.e., the assassination of) Bobby Brown so that he could whisk his wife Whitney Houston off to a Sudanese mansion - furnished with such opulence that would make Queen Nefertiti blush. To be fair to Osama, however, this was all before Whitney withered before our eyes from an angelic beauty into a fiendish-looking crack-smoking skank.

But I wonder if this Jew-hating, self-annointed Caliph knows that, had he succeeded, he would merely have emulated the craven scheme perfected by the Jewish King David - who ordered Uriah to certain death in battle so that he could have his way with Uriah's wife Bathsheba....)

I could go on, but that would defeat the purpose of having you buy the book. Nonetheless, consider this:

In recent years, you’ve probably seen many men on TV declaiming on bin Laden’s character, motives and personal life – as if they were his spurned lover. And none of them has been granted more dubious credibility in this respect than the glib Peter Bergen. But here’s how Kola addressed his putative expertise in a recent interview:

BRUCE DUNNE: Peter Bergen, a biographer of Bin Laden, has called you delusional. He says that Osama Bin Laden was never in Morocco in 1996--in fact, I believe he claims that Bin Laden has never been to Morocco period.

KOLA BOOF: Peter Bergen doesn't know what the hell he's talking about, but I'm sure that the media would take the word of a white man who's never met Osama against the word of a Black woman who used to share his bed.

The fact is...Osama Bin Laden was in Morocco in 1996, he was in Afghanistan, he lived in Sudan, he went to Ethiopia, Tanzania and Egypt that year. He went to Iran for a wedding. Peter Bergen and none of these know-it-all white men know a damned thing about where Osama was...if they did...the U.S. government would have been able to find Osama back in 1996. So don't listen to the Arabs and the White men.

BRUCE DUNNE: Peter Bergen says that Bin Laden is a chronic prayer...praying ten or twelve times a day.

KOLA BOOF: That wasn't true in 1996. Osama prayed on Tuesdays and Thursdays like that...all day Tuesday and Thursday, but not everyday. Bergen never lived with Osama. He's going by heresay.

Now, here in a nutshell is why I believe Kola’s story, and why I urge you to buy her book:

Notwithstanding the shrill TV interviews you may have seen – conducted invariably by prissy-talking Barbies more interested in demeaning Kola as a whore or Osama’s sex slave than in interviewing her about her life, I have read substantive interviews (including this one excerpted above) in which Kola resolutely expresses far greater pride in being an accomplished poet and Sudan’s bestselling novelist than in being bin Laden’s former mistress.

Like Dutch MP Ayaan Hirsi Ali - about whom I've written numerous articles including this one here - Kola is unabashed about describing herself as a Muslim feminist and liberal democrat who is committed to modernizing the jihadist, misogynistic and racist tenets of Islam.

Finally, I’m especially impressed by the fact that – no matter one’s doubts about her sordid bedroom tales - there’s independent documentation of Kola's heroic role in procuring arms from Israel for black Sudanese rebels to defend their people against genocidal attacks by government-backed Arab militias (Janjaweed) in Darfur and Southern Sudan; attacks which I wrote about here.

So, click here for Kola’s home page and to buy her book….

NOTE: I'm flattered that so many of you have asked but, frankly, I couldn't care any less about the billionaire pissing match between Tom Cruise and Paramount's Sumner Redstone. Therefore, I will not be writing an article on this latest Hollywood spectacle....

Kola Boof, Osama bin Laden, Whitney Houston