Like most people I know, I have a very Tiger-centric interest in golf, as I admitted in 2006: I’ve never swung a golf club, yet I’m as big a fan of the game as anyone else – whenever Tiger hits the links.
This is why, when I first heard that Tiger Woods was involved in a car accident and had been admitted to hospital in “serious condition,” my first (admittedly selfish) thought was that he might have suffered career-ending injuries. And that, of course, would’ve ended my arbitrary and capricious interest.
Thank God the reports on his accident were grossly exaggerated. Because it turned out to have been nothing more than “a minor car accident” stemming from Tiger’s mysterious encounter with a fire hydrant and a tree just outside the driveway of his home in Florida. More importantly, the only injuries he reportedly suffered are “scratches” on his face and a fat lip.
So what’s the big deal?
Well, it’s Tiger: the most dominant, recognizable and intriguing athlete in the world today. And when you consider that his career is as distinguished by his squeaky-clean image as by his record-breaking talent, it’s easy to understand why even a minor accident would generate worldwide media interest.
Of course, his wife, former model Elin Nordegren, only fueled prurient interest when she told the police some cockamamie story. She claimed she heard the crash around 2:30 in the morning after Thanksgiving, rushed out to rescue her unconscious husband, used a golf club she just happened to be holding to smash the Escalade’s windows, pulled him to safety, and then administered first aid.
After all, the more credible story is that she confronted Tiger about a report in the National Enquirer that he was having an affair with a New York night club hostess. Moreover, that after finding his denials so unconvincing, ‘she went ghetto‘ on him – scratching up his face, busting up his lips, and chasing him out of the house wielding a nine iron. She smashed the windows of his SUV as he was trying to flee for his life
At which point he must have thought, courtesy of Richard Pryor in Which Way Is Up, “Oh shit, the bitch done gone berserk!” In fact, all indications are that it was her hysterical hot pursuit that caused his freakish bumper-pool crash with the fire hydrant and tree.
Given this, it’s no wonder Tiger is trying to buy as much time as possible (to heal his physical wounds as well as his wounded pride) before showing his face – even to the police. Since this was only a solo fender bender, however, Tiger has no legal obligation to tell the police what actually happened to provoke or directly cause this accident.
From a purely PR perspective, though, he should have spoken to them as soon as his lawyers and agents helped him and his wife get their stories straight; i.e., instead of jerking the police around (by scheduling and canceling interviews) while issuing patently specious statements on his website. Not to mention that his ambivalent refusal to speak to the police is giving the undeniable impression that he and wife have something to hide. Of course, they do….
But when he finally speaks publicly, I fully expect him to simply plead for “privacy” as he and his family deal with this very intimate and embarrassing matter. No doubt he is mindful that public figures like John Edwards have demonstrated all too well the PR hazards inherent in uttering self-righteous denials. Affairs can be so easily contradicted by titillating circumstantial evidence; you know, like text messages and hotel receipts.
Meanwhile, iPINIONS fully expects the “other woman” (the brunette) at the center of this delicious scandal to make the most of her fifteen minutes of fame. And I’m sure that her close friend (the blonde), who reportedly outed Tiger, will do even more to make a (money-making) spectacle of this alleged affair. (I refuse to contribute to their infamy by naming them.)
For the record, despite this party girl’s coy, if not shrewd, denial, I believe the Enquirer’s story. What’s more important, though, is that Tiger’s wife seems to believe it. And nothing will confirm this story quite like Tiger’s refusal to sue for defamation.
I just hope he has the good sense to keep his mouth shut and just go about buying his wife that house-on-a-finger apology and performing all of the other Kobe-like penances to save his marriage.
To be sure, though, this episode will have no negative impact on his game and endorsements, which together have made him the world’s first billion-dollar professional athlete. Not least because, if fans and sponsors can forgive Kobe Bryant an allegation of rape, they are bound to forgive Tiger this allegation of an extramarital affair.
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