Update on my favorite corporate crook – Conrad Black

The crooks code of ethics holds that there’s no honor among thieves. But it says nothing about thieves coveting royal titles.

Therefore, former Hollinger CEO Conrad Black can be forgiven for feeling as entitled to a royal title as he was to his corporate loot. (Never mind that this merely earned him the unwitting moniker of a royal thief). And, just as no legal or ethical barrier prevented Black from using corporate money to fund his regal lifestyle, none prevented him from using it to purchase a “titled peer of the realm” – a Lordship!

(Indeed, Black displayed no reservation or regret when he renounced his Canadian citizenship so that his title could be duly conferred on him by HM The Queen Herself! Oh, you didn’t know royal titles were for sale? Click here to be edified….)

But, despite the imperious cloak he donned (in his public and private life), Lord Black soon found out that he was not impervious to the legal consequences of his corporate crimes. And, as I wrote here almost a year ago, he hardly had time to use the media outlets in his corporate empire to trumpet his transformation from an upstart yeoman to a bona fide aristocrat before plebeian American authorities had him in handcuffs.

The charges? Prosecutors charged Black with everything from insider dealing to money laundering to flagrant misuse of corporate assets, which included giving his wife a multimillion-dollar salary for doing nothing – except hosting their lavish parties. And, here’s how I described the view most people – even in aristocratic circles – had of Black and his co-conspirator, um, er, consort, after allegations against him were made public:

Not surprisingly, Black dismissed their charges as insolent rubbish and vowed that his legal minions would soon set them straight. Unfortunately, his decree nisi of innocent until proven guilty did not deter Hollinger’s (CYA) board members from moving to strip Black of his corporate perks and recoup the alleged embezzled funds (of over $100 million); a move which forced Black to liquidate his personal assets to pay his mounting legal bills. Even worse, however, it did not dissuade gatekeepers of social circles in the Palm Beach, New York City and, above all, London from declaring Black and his wife personae non gratae.

Now comes word that a Canadian court has frozen his liquid assets…worldwide. Last week, a judge in Ontario – who has jurisdiction because Hollinger is a Toronto-based company – ruled that this extraordinary “mareva” injunction was necessary to prevent Black and his spendthrift wife from spending all of their ill-gotten gains before the universally expected guilty verdict is rendered in his case, which could drag on for years.

But, adding insult to the indignities they’ve had to suffer in recent years, the judge determined that, instead of their usual $200,000 monthly budget, Black and his wife must now subsist on a mere $20,000. And, lest you think this is still a royal allowance, consider that supermodel Linda Evangelista once expressed indignation that anyone would expect her to bother getting out of bed for less than $10,000…a day!

Today, I imagine that where Black regards the American regulators as hopelessly naïve puritans, he considers his former Canadian compatriots as resentful wannabe royals. But either way, he’s getting his comeuppance. And this payback is proving to be not only a bitch but also a royal pain in the ass.

NOTE: I’m sure her erstwhile socialite friends in Europe and North America are wondering how much longer Barbara Amiel will walk in the Payless shoes of a devoted, longsuffering wife before she files for divorce – citing not his legal woes, but Black’s inability to maintain her in the lifestyle to which she has become accustomed….

Meanwhile, Amiel is probably wondering at what point in this unfolding saga Black will do the proper thing and die (a la Ken Lay) to spare them further embarrassment, and save as much of his fortune for her to buy her way back into the good graces of the American Upper Class and British Aritocracy….

Conrad Black, Barbara Amiel