Gwyneth Paltrow: Ungrateful snob and pathological liar!

The British are much more intelligent and civilized than the Americans.

[Gwyneth Paltrow in Portuguese newspaper Diario de Noticias]

Evidently, faking that British accent for her Oscar-winning performance in Shakespeare in Love (after introducing it in Emma) has caused Gwyneth Paltrow to suffer a lingering identity crisis. Because, even though being an American (Hollywood) actress supports her adopted British lifestyle (and permanent residency), she has clearly acquired a visceral contempt for America, which she expresses with quaint British affectations.

It’s not surprising, therefore, that she has finally been caught in a public conflict with herself. It stems from an interview with a Portuguese newspaper in which she dissed America with such royal snobbery that would make Her Majesty, The Queen, blush, and her Madgesty Madonna green with envy.

Of course, Gwyneth denies ever saying anything so demonstrably absurd, and claims to be “deeply upset”, one assumes, because the patriotic and affectionate sentiments she expressed about her fellow Americans were lost in translation.

Perhaps…except that a little research by E! Online news reporter Sarah Hall makes it patently clear that Gwyneth either has a habit of looking down her nose at Americans (and America), or harbors acute anti-American snobbery in her heart.

Moreover, it is equally clear that her PR effort to cover her embarrassing self-loathing is motivated more by her fear of ending up like the Dixie Chicks – whose country-music careers tanked after they were caught on tape dissing President Bush (“I’m ashamed he’s from my state” etc.) to curry favor with a British audience – than by a sincere desire to correct a misquote for the record.

After all, if the latter were her motivation she would have a lot of correcting to do. Because the proof is in this (Yorkshire?) pudding of well-documented quotes compiled by Hall, which expose Gwyneth as an ungrateful snob and a pathological liar:

To Britain’s Star magazine in February 2006: “I love living in the UK! Brits are far more intelligent and civilized than Americans.”

To London’s Guardian in January 2006: “I love the English way, which is not as capitalistic as it is in America. People don’t talk about work and money; they talk about interesting things at dinner parties. I like living here because I don’t tap into the bad side of American psychology, which is ‘I’m not achieving enough, I’m not making enough, I’m not at the top of the pile.’ It’s just kind of like, I am.”

To Harper’s Bazaar in September 2006: “People think it’s strange that I want to live here. But London is where my husband lives and works…It’s not as hectic as New York and not as vapid as Los Angeles.” In the same Harper’s interview, on preferring her British friends to her American friends: “They’re intelligent and they’re not looking over my shoulder at dinner to see if there’s anyone better walking in.”

To Toronto’s Globe & Mail in September 2005: “I’ve always been drawn to Europe. America is such a young country, with an adolescent swagger about it. But I feel that I have a more European sensibility, a greater respect for the multicultural nature of the globe. And it’s a strange time to be an American now.”

To London’s Evening Standard in December 2005: “I find the English amazing how they got over 7/7. There were no multiple memorials with people sobbing as they would have been in America. There, they are constantly scaring people but at the same time, people think nothing of going to see a therapist.”

You need counseling Gwyneth, quick! (And that’s with a psychologist to find yourself, not a speech therapist to perfect your British accent.)

NOTE: To be fair to Gwyneth, I’ve heard many Americans express deferential affinity for British intelligence and sophistication based solely on the posh way members of England’s dwindling upper class speak. But I’m sure no truly intelligent and sophisticated Briton (or American) shares Gwyneth’s superficial sentiments.

Gwyneth Paltrow