More media madness than legal mess

Media outlets are heralding today as the day of reckoning in the late Anna Nicole Smith’s baby-daddy drama. But court proceedings will feature surreal fanfare rather than legal resolve. 

Frankly, the only reckoning will be parties fighting through rabid media scrums to enter and leave The Bahamas Supreme Court. Expect mere legal posturing from judges, lawyers, and litigants alike, prolonging these proceedings even more. 

Who’s the daddy?

The courts could have resolved the paternity at issue months before Anna Nicole died. But one Bahamian judge after another failed to exercise their authority.

After all, Larry Birkhead’s attorney filed papers months ago to enforce a  California order for Anna Nicole and Dannielynn to provide DNA saliva samples. 

All Judge Stephen Isaacs had to do was accord this order pro forma comity under international law. Had he done so, paternity would have been established mere weeks after authorities secured saliva swabs from Anna Nicole.

But I hasten to clarify that he would not have been genuflecting to the California court. Instead, Issacs only had to honor the letter and spirit of Bahamian law. 

Chapter 130 on the Status of Children provides, in part, that:

Where circumstances exist that give rise to presumptions of paternity in respect of more than one father, no presumption shall be made as to paternity.

No doubt, Howard K. Stern is presumed to be the father. After all, the birth certificate names him, and he cohabited with Anna Nicole for the statutory period before Danielynn’s birth.

But Birkhead rendered that presumption moot by filing a paternity petition. Moreover, his petition contains enough circumstantial evidence to rebut Stern’s claim that he’s the daddy.

Judge Isaacs had the authority (and duty) to order any test necessary to settle paternity. Doing so would have furthered the best interest of the child.

A fraud on the court

I fear Isaacs is just furthering Stern’s scheme to perpetrate fraud. It’s self-evident that Stern has mercenary reasons for claiming paternity. Meanwhile, Isaacs is denying Birkhead the paternal right to share in the most precious moments of this child’s life. 

That’s why this judge would be well advised to order DNA tests today to establish paternity without delay. Doing so would help redeem Bahamian jurisprudence.

Of course, Bahamian cultural biases and legal precedents favor mothers and grandmothers in custody cases. But here, the court should have no qualms about awarding custody to the biological father over Anna Nicole’s estranged mother, Vergie Arthur. Doing so would further the best interest of the child.

Who’s the homeowner?

Surely, the facts in the paternity case are farcical enough. But they pale compared with disputed facts over the Bahamian estate Anna Nicole called home. 

American real estate mogul G. Ben Thompson is the legal owner of the estate, Horizons. But Stern is now the resident squatter. Anna Nicole claimed possession of Horizons to secure her residency but never honored the contractual terms to gain ownership. 

I see no point in commenting any further on this matter. But I’d be remiss not to note that a star-struck and pussy-whipped Bahamian minister of immigration is neck-deep in this mess. Reports show that he pulled strings that enabled Anna Nicole to claim residency without meeting the homeownership requirement. 

Even so, the courts could have also resolved this matter months ago. The Bahamian judge could and should have granted Thompson’s application to evict freeloading Anna Nicole and Stern long before she died. 

Anna Nicole’s Will and her son’s death

Enquiring minds surely want to know about Anna Nicole’s Will. Stern presented it in Florida court to assert his authority as executor to have her buried in Nassau.

• Hint: Regardless of its validity and provisions, The Bahamas has no jurisdiction to enter it into probate.

Another mess brewing is the pending inquest into the death of Anna Nicole’s son in Nassau. That, of course, is in addition to the investigation into her own death in Florida. 

In both cases, suspicion hovers over Stern like a Damoclean Sword. He allegedly procured the drugs that caused their deaths. Clearly, he’s got “some splainin” to do.