Earth to news broadcasters: Osama bin Laden’s a big joke!

Alas, it’s true: familiarity breeds contempt.

And contempt was the only feeling I had when I woke up yesterday to news reports of yet another bin Laden tape dominating airtime on the 500 channels of my HGTV! Of course it featured his familiar diatribe about American-led crusades against Islam and such rubbish, which compelled me to wonder – who cares anymore what bin Laden has to say….

Bush: Hey, the CIA said he was hiding in a cave, not in a closet….OK Osama, come outta the closet!….Psssst, I always thought this fella sounded kinda queer….72 virgins? Yeah, right! I guess Allah never said if they were boys or girls….

Indeed, where the mere mention of Osama bin Laden’s name once incited fear (and some anxious loathing), now it merely prompts the reflexive eye-rolling one sees when old people interrupt dinner conversations to tell the same boring story for the 72nd time. Moreover, what can be more pathetic than this cave dweller now peddling tapes in a vainglorious attempt to take credit for every ill-fate that befalls Western civilization? I suppose Rev. Pat Robertson pinned Hurricane Katrina on God’s wrath against homosexuals and river-boat gamblers before bin Laden could take credit for that too. Incidentally, since Osama keeps begging for a clash of civilizations, wouldn’t it be truly divine for this radical Islamist and cookoo Christian Pat to end up in a cave somewhere so they could settle this religious-crusades nonsense once and for all?

Speaking of cookoo Christians, I wonder if either Rev. Jesse Jackson or his chubby pretender to the pulpit, Al Sharpton, will finally condemn bin Laden now that he’s calling for Jihad against our African brothers and sisters in Darfur. Because it’s one thing to express common cause with everyone from Hugo Chavez to this self-appointed Caliph in calling for the heads of George W. Bush, Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld. But it must offend the conscience of even these two Tartuffes when anti-American zealots call for the extermination of already starving, oppressed and helpless blacks in Africa – as Osama did yesterday.

And, speaking of Tartuffes, can I hear an asalamu alaikum from Minister Louis Farrakhan? Perhaps he can get word to his Muslim brother Osama – via Al-Jazeera – that he’d better revoke his order for Islamic Jihadists to join Sudan’s Janjaweed militiamen in their religious (ethnic) cleansing of blacks in Darfur, or Allah will send Jesse and Al instead of Pat into his cave to determine who’s holier than thou….

Really folks, don’t you wonder why broadcasters in America still think it’s news when Osama apologists and enablers at Al-Jazeera in the Middle East play another of his utterly irrelevant tapes? And then, doesn’t it insult your intelligence when they get some oxymoronic “expert on Osama bin Laden” to expound on the dire implications of Osama’s rantings?

Enough already!

Osama bin Laden, Al Jazeera tape