A selfie isn’t just about adoring one’s own reflection like Narcissus. It’s about capturing that reflection to share with the world. But am I the only one who rues the cognitive dissonance that has turned self-obsessed showoffs from laughingstocks into standard-bearers of acceptable, even required, public behavior?
Just years ago, any self-respecting man would be mortified if caught checking himself out in the mirror. Now the Internet is littered with as many selfies of preening men as women. Nothing irritates me more than people sharing every private sentiment (from condolences to birthday greetings and romantic love) by tweeting or posting it for everyone to read.
Selfie odd man out
My selfie-posting friends think my anti-selfie stance is weird. But the way they rationalize their narcissistic Facebook posts gives credence to the notion that “FB” is the equivalent of free booze for stark raving drunkards – their selfie posting like drunk dialing.
As it happens, though, even they begrudgingly concede that selfies have probably jumped the shark. Two incidents that occurred just last week have them souring on this trend:
University of Arizona students posted selfies with police struggling to quell riots in the background after their team’s tournament loss.- Baseball player “Big Papi” corralled the president during a White House visit into a promotional selfie for his sponsor’s brand.
Social media’s redeeming qualities (Yes, they exist)
I don’t think social media are utterly without redeeming value. For example:
Breaking News and Global Reach: Social media played a galvanizing role in the Arab Spring. Twitter breaks news faster than mainstream media and reaches people in remote areas where traditional outlets never penetrate.
Note: The biggest problem with mainstream media today is how they assault our intelligence by reporting on what ordinary people do on social media — like posting attention-seeking selfies, tweets, and videos.
Celebrity Branding: I see nothing wrong with celebrities like Ellen DeGeneres and Kim Kardashian posting selfies to promote their personal or sponsor brands. After Big Papi’s exploitation, however, Obama probably won’t allow himself to be corralled into any more selfies. His press secretary voiced official objection because such presidential selfies risk degrading the presidency’s esteem even lower than Bill Clinton did when he dignified an inappropriate town-hall question about his underwear.
Private Communication: It’s perfectly sensible for real friends to use social media to share private details or arrange outings among themselves. I just find it odd, if not inconsiderate and stupid, that people post such details for virtual friends they’ve never met to see. Why not use email or WhatsApp? Facebook’s acquisition of WhatsApp shows even tech giants recognize the need for truly private messaging. These oversharing idiots wonder why they’re being trolled, bullied, or even burgled.
The 90 Percent Problem
These redeeming uses probably account for less than 10 percent of daily posts. The other 90 percent seems born of pathetic neediness or insecurity, causing people to make fools of themselves posting selfies for no reason other than the vain hope of eliciting idle flattery.
Remember when there was no greater social nuisance than the dad showing off pictures of his newborn child to complete strangers? That dad is a social wallflower compared to the person posting selfies as if they were the most beautiful thing God ever created. Social media seem littered with selfie-posing women who make Lady Gaga and Miley Cyrus (two notorious attention whores) look shy.
It’s now trendy for mothers to live-tweet their child’s birth as if it were the second coming. This is surpassed in TMI cringe-worthiness only by incidents like when NPR journalist Scott Simon tweeted his mother’s dying moments as if she were the mother of all mankind.
The toxic culture of oversharing
Millions use social media to beg for attention and life-affirming compliments. They invariably post images that give the impression they’re living a gilded life or looking more beautiful than reality. These contrived, photoshopped, airbrushed images are designed to make their “friends” green with envy.
But frankly, this culture of unbridled narcissism and oversharing has become like a metastasizing cancer, eroding traditional notions of personal discretion and public decency. This cannot be good, especially for young girls’ self-esteem. After all, they were already suffering from body dysmorphia triggered by models in glossy magazines. Now, thanks to photo-shopping apps, ordinary girls on social media are setting similar unattainable standards of beauty… and fame.
But here’s a public service announcement for those addicted to chasing “likes” like junkies chasing the dragon:
Your friends and followers are too socially correct to tell you what an embarrassing bore your selfies have become; to say nothing of your banal thoughts, snarky comments, and hackneyed aphorisms. You’re clearly clueless about the perennial truth that “familiarity breeds contempt” and probably ignorant of “information asymmetry” theory. And it seems “Unfriending” and “unfollowing” are tricky propositions.
So take it from me: your friends and followers would appreciate being spared the annoying social obligation of telling you how witty you are or how beautiful you look every single day. Especially when you post selfies looking like a Russian babushka selling borscht who thinks she’s a Victoria’s Secret model. Really, get over yourself!
Living Selfie-Free
I’m convinced my life is richer for avoiding all social media like the plague. It has never occurred to me to take a selfie. Despite many attempts by family and friends, I’ve managed to avoid being corralled into posing for one. I’m all too mindful that people often take selfies with real friends just to share them with virtual friends.
Nothing’s personal anymore. Hell, you can’t even expect Tinder-like chats to arrange booty calls to remain private, as actor James Franco found out to his global embarrassment a few days ago.
At long last, can someone explain why this orgy of oversharing doesn’t vindicate iPINIONS dismissing celebrated leaker Edward Snowden as just a Silicon Valley version of the Nebraska farm boy sounding the alarm after the horse had already left the barn?
* This commentary was originally posted yesterday, Sunday, at 5:08 pm
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