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You are here: Home / Entertainment / Chris Rock Says Only Gays and Women Watch the Oscars!

Chris Rock Says Only Gays and Women Watch the Oscars!

Monday, February 28, 2005 at 11:22 AM
Written by Anthony L. Hall
Chris Rock: The ain’t never gonna invite my black ass back. So f*#! it!

I watched the Oscars last night. (But, before the title of this column leads anyone to queer assumptions, let me hasten to clarify that I tuned in for purely journalistic purposes.) And, I feel confident asserting that my original commentary was right on all points.

Nevertheless, I failed to indicate that – sometimes – the opening monologue by the Host can be really entertaining.

I wish iPINOINS could report that Chris Rock rocked! But I’m afraid he seemed a little overwhelmed by the hyped-up expectations: his material was rushed, confusing, and just not that funny; perhaps even upstaged by Robin Williams.

He proved one thing, though – that the Sunday morning Church hour is not the most segregated time in America. It seems Saturday evenings at the movies might be even more so. (Stay tuned for the Black Academy Awards.)

Finally, Jay-Z must have threatened the Oscar producers with violence because there can be no other justification for Beyonce’s 2nd and 3rd songs!


Hilary Swank

Best Lead Actor (Female): Hilary Swank – a seemingly genuine spirit utterly without typical Hollywood pretensions. (But did you see Annette Benning when this award was announced? She clearly did not deserve to win because she couldn’t even act happy after losing to Hilary.)


Jamie Foxx

Best Lead Actor (Male): Jamie Foxx – with Morgan too – oh what a night! Endearing speech for a guy who – by his own admission – so likes to play the fool.


Kate Blanchett

Best Supporting Actor (Female): Kate Blanchett – don’t know her from Adam but she exuded poise and good humour.

Morgan Freeman - Rotten Tomatoes

Morgan Freeman

Best Supporting Actor (Male): Morgan Freeman – best moment of the night. Long overdue! But was that a necktie he forgot to tie or his wife’s shawl that he forgot to return?


Clint Eastwood

Best Director: Clint Eastwood – As much as I like Clint, I really wanted Marty Scorsese to win. Academy members must have something personal against him because Marty is fast becoming the Susan Lucci (Erica Kane) of the Oscars.

Best Picture: Million Dollar Baby – Like most blacks in America, I haven’t seen this one either. But, OK…


Halle Berry: yummy….

Best Dressed? Well, since I watched, I’ll play along. It’s too crass to rank women, so here are some notables:

Halle Berry looked divine. She is that rare woman whose natural beauty makes even the most beautiful dress seem shabby. Hilary Swank is easily the prettiest boxer I’ve seen since Mohammed Ali; and Renee Zellweger looked like a red mermaid waddling like a penguin on stage. But Kirsten Dunst deserves special mention for admitting to the world that, like Cinderella (and most celebrities), she has to return her borrowed dress right after the show, or else….

News and Politics

Anthony L. Hall

Legacy Note: With over 5,600 posts spanning 20 years, I am easily the most prolific blogger on the most eclectic array of topics on the web. That makes The iPINIONS Journal an unparalleled archive of informed political and cultural commentary. Visit the ARCHIVES section in the sidebar or search by topic. You won’t find a more consistent, independent voice on world affairs.

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Filed Under: Entertainment Tagged With: Chris Rock, The Oscars

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Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    February 28, 2005 at 3:29 pm

    I am female living in North America and I didn’t watch the Oscars. Maybe because I am from Europe and I have problems understanding American films all together, more specifically the mainstream production. Occasionally, I hear there is a really good movie around and then I watch American Beauty, Hours or Accidental Tourist and get pleasantly surprised. But really, what’s the fascination with the Oscars? Could it all really be about dresses and thank-you speaches with long lists of names? It’s pretty boring to me or I don’t get it…

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  2. Anonymous says

    February 28, 2005 at 6:04 pm

    Well perhaps I get more cynical each year, but this year’s Oscar build up was more about hype (to generate better ratings) than anything else. Maybe Chris Rock also struck a nerve when he jokingly made certain assumptions about Oscar viewership. The real point is that the Oscar presentation needed a boost and Chris Rock gave the Academy exactly what it needed. There were more discussions about the Oscars the week before than in recent memory. They wanted the ratings even if they had to partner with the hip-hop community.

    Now that the door has been opened for actor/actresses of color, it seems the Academy was more relaxed in its distribution of awards. It was tough to deny anything Ray Charles this year (see the Grammys) and J Foxx was plenty deserving. Hillary Swank is just awesome, even if going to her movies rips your heart out. I still can not understand how Morgan Freeman did not win for the Shawshank Remdemption in 1994 (Forrest Gump won best picture that year). I only saw Ray and Million Dollar Baby, so I don’t have much to say about Cate Blanchett this time. She was great in Elizabeth. I thought the Aviator would have taken best picture and Best Director, but it’s hard to hate on Clint.

    And by the way, I never watch the Oscars, but I tuned in for Chris Rock’s monologue…….

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