David Copperfield accused of rape?! Maybe it was just an illusion…

I’m not sure why so many people expect me to know the details of every alleged crime involving tourists in the Caribbean – from Natalee Holloway in Aruba to Bob Woolmer in Jamaica and Anna Nicole Smith in The Bahamas. But as flattered and amused as I am by it, I’m always eager to disabuse them of this expectation.

Nevertheless, over the past few days, I have deflected numerous questions in conversations, and browsed even more in e-mails, from enquiring minds wanting to know “what really happened” with that woman who accused David Copperfield, the self-styled “master illusionist”, of raping her in The Bahamas.

As it happens, however, neither I nor any law enforcement official in The Bahamas has any clue what happened. Because instead of reporting the incident to the local police, the alleged victim waited (not sure how long) to report it to authorities back home in Seattle, Washington, where, presumably, she felt she stood a better chance of having him successfully prosecuted.

And, judging from the way FBI agents are now swarming all over Copperfield, with well-publicized raids on his Las Vegas properties, one can be forgiven for thinking that this was the smart thing to do.

However, I think she waited simply because this alleged crime occurred on a small island Copperfield bought from the Bahamian government last year; which he has magically transformed into a bohemian paradise called Musha Cay.

Therefore, one can certainly understand why this woman probably assumed that he was immune to criminal charges there, and why he probably presumes that what Copperfield wants on Musha Cay, Copperfield takes….

Meanwhile, I felt compelled to ridicule him in one of my CNN commentaries when he began marketing his island with the illusory claim that it is blessed with “fountains of youth” that are more effective than plastic surgery at reducing the signs of aging.

Alas, this raises the affirmative defense of assumption of risk by all of the idle-minded rich folks who dare to venture there. And it also allows Copperfield to cover up whatever sex crime he may have committed by arguing – with professional indignation – that everything that happens on his island is pure illusion…by design (and implied consent)! Just kidding folks.

(Although I hereby grant Copperfield’s lawyer permission to quote me without attribution….)

But seriously, and with all due respect to this alleged victim, here’s the only thing I feel obliged to say about this unfolding case:

If you’re a victim of any crime during your visit to any island in the Caribbean, please report it to local authorities, immediately. Because, despite caricatures in the international media, they are invariably more capable than any foreign agency of solving local crimes.

That said, it might help some of you to gain a little perspective in this respect by bearing in mind that the FBI and Colorado police are still trying to solve the JonBenet Ramsey murder; and that Scotland Yard and Portuguese police are still trying to find little Madeleine McCann….

Related Articles:
Copperfield “discovers fountain of youth” on his island in The Bahamas
Resolving the legal mess Anna Nicole left behind
Natalee Holloway still missing in Aruba

David Copperfield rape Bahamas