Iran’s democratic charade
In the grand circus of global politics, few acts are more darkly comical than so-called ‘democratic’ elections held in autocracies. Take Iran, for instance.
Yesterday, Iran held parliamentary elections, exuding the enthusiasm of a tranquilized sloth. The economy’s languishing in the gutter, the populace suffers a collective Stockholm Syndrome, and the government is engrossed in a bromance with Russia. Yet, the Ayatollah expects us to swallow that over 90% are thrilled with his autocratic regime.
However, the silent roar of voter apathy speaks volumes. It’s protest in its safest, most silent form. Of 21 Iranians The Associated Press polled, 13 said they were not voting. And who can blame them? An election under an autocratic thumb is not just oxymoronic; it’s the epitome of a Hobson’s choice.
Russia’s election farce
Later this month, autocratic Russia will stage its ‘democratic’ election. In normal times, this spectacle is like watching a bear pirouetting in a ballet tutu – both confusing and terrifying.
But Vladimir Putin, Russia’s autocrat-for-life, jailed and just assassinated his (latest) primary political opponent, Alexei Navalny. Thus, his forthcoming election farce will have the pall of a tragic comedy.
The illusion of legitimacy
You might wonder, why the charade? It’s the quest for an illusion of legitimacy: autocracies pretending they’re democracies. And no less an autocrat than Cuba’s Fidel Castro pioneered and then orchestrated this election farce during his 50-year rule.
But, fear not, Donald Trump will never set foot in the White House again. Not least because he has threatened to jail or execute too many generals.
More to the point, this treasonous grifter has MAGA Republicans hailing Vladimir Putin as the paragon of presidents. So here’s what President Biden should do:
- Biden should do to Trump what Putin did to Navalny. And, of course, he could claim the “absolute immunity” Trump himself insists all presidents must have to serve effectively.
Ultimately, these ‘elections’ are theatrical displays at their finest. Autocrats are like magicians, tricking their people into believing the rabbit they pulled out of the hat wasn’t planted there from the start.
But this isn’t mere spectacle; it’s realpolitik in its rawest form. And, instead of an audience applauding the autocrats’ tricks, citizens in autocracies are meekly playing along and bemoaning their scripted fate.
This is why Western leaders should openly mock autocrats for pretending to be democrats. After all, everyone knows autocrats threaten people to vote for them or get thrown in jail or worse – end up like Navalny.
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