But the good news is that this international bounder has decided to tame his royal excesses by finally honoring his duties. And that – to help him execute them – he will announce at this evening’s Red Cross Ball in Monte Carlo that he has chosen former South African Olympic swimmer (medley-relay team, which finished 5th ) and Sports Illustrated model, Charlene Wittstock, 28, to be his princess.
Of course, Wittstock’s uncanny resemblance to Albert’s late mother Princess Grace will only add credence to longstanding rumors about his acute Oedipus complex….
NOTE: I appreciate that no matter how promiscuous and racist his character, many women would have been all too willing to sell their body and soul to be Albert’s bride. But as a consolation for having missed out on this royal opportunity, I offer all of you this unsightly glimpse into what a pyrrhic bargain your wedding night would have been:
ENDNOTE: A few months ago, Caribbean Net News (CNN) published this article, in which I lambasted Cuban exiles in Miami for threatening to ruin the Bahamian economy unless the Bahamian government breached its bi-lateral agreement with Fidel Castro to repatriate Cubans seeking refuge in The Bahamas – by sending them to Miami instead. Not surprisingly, the Cuban exiles did not appreciate my principled criticism.
Well, just imagine their self-righteous outrage when they read this article, published today, in which I chastise them for their unseemly and premature dancing on Fidel Castro’s grave….
Meanwhile, as a bonus, I suspect I’ll send Trinidad’s Brahmans into an equally imperious hissy fit with my update to last week’s article (appended to today’s CNN article), in which I had the insolence to charge one of their caste members, Satnarine Sharma, with behavior unbecoming a Chief Justice. Because today, I wrote that I am constrained to deduce that CJ Sharma may lack not only the ethics but also the legal competence to ever return to the bench….
Prince Albert’s fiancee, Monaco
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Karen (London) says
That photo was wicked funny, ALH! Truthfully I don’t understand what the purpose of a royal family is these days, apart from as a hugely costly tourist attraction.
ALH ipinions says
Karen
I’m glad you got a chuckle out of that photo; especially since I suspect we both find royalty itself a pathetic joke.
Apropos saps who buy into it, you’d be truly dismayed by the number of hostile emails I got in response to my most recent commentary (link below) on this farcical and anachronistic institution from royal sycophants in the Caribbean.
Go to: http://www.caribbeannetnews.com
In Sections, Click “Op-Ed”
Scroll down to “Friday, July 14, 2006”