Kola Boof: lost girl speaks out

Kola Boof is promoting her autobiography, Diary of a Lost Girl, all over TV. This Egyptian-Sudanese-American is an award-winning novelist, poet, and activist. But, unsurprisingly, her relationship with Osama Bin Laden is all anyone wants to talk about. 

Kola writes about it in dramatic and thrilling detail. Reading it, you might think her relationship with Osama played out like Laura’s with Luke. Kola is also a television writer, so the allusion to General Hospital might’ve been subconscious.

However, for the more initiated, the title of her autobiography is a dead giveaway. After all, it’s the same as the 1929 silent film Diary of a Lost Girl. That suggests Kola thinks she has more in common with Thymian than Laura. Thymian is the main character in that film. She becomes a lost girl after Meinert rapes her. Oops.

No more spoilers, even by allusions, I promise. Except that, with all due respect to Laura and Thymian, the real-life character Patty Hearst comes to mind. After all, Kola’s autobiography reads far more like American Heiress, the biography of poor little rich girl Patty Hearst.

Osama Bin Laden preferred Black women?

Kola insinuates that Stockholm Syndrome explains her becoming Osama’s mistress and accomplice. This explanation seems no more credible than Patty’s for staying with her Symbionese captors. 

But Kola’s story is so sadomasochistic, it has to be true. Besides, its socially redeeming tidbits appeal to my prurient intellect. For example, Kola reveals that Osama, the Muslim zealot, is a raging hypocrite. He preached moral rectitude and devotion to Islamic stoicism yet indulged in all manner of Western vices, including hardcore porn.

Avenging American bombs left Osama little choice but to become a cave-dwelling ascetic. But Kola knew him before that. And she describes him in convincing detail as a profanity-shouting, rock-loving, pot-smoking sex fiend. And that was on his holy days. 

Frankly, she makes Osama seem like a Muslim version of Christian hypocrites like Jimmy Swaggart. Well, except for the titillating parts where Osama comes across more like a Southern slavemaster. 

I am alluding, of course, to the slavemasters who shunned their lily-white wives for more gratifying sex with their Black slaves. Osama, too, shunned his puritanical Arab wives for more exotic sex with his Black captive, Kola.

It turns out Osama was obsessed with the sexual prowess of Black women. As Kola tells it, his obsession even led him to plan a fatwa (i.e., an assassination) to take out Bobby Brown. Osama wanted to whisk his wife, Whitney Houston, off to an opulent Sudanese mansion that would make Queen Nefertiti blush. 

To be fair to Osama, this was all before Whitney withered before our eyes. Almost overnight, she went from looking like an angelic beauty to looking like a crack-smoking skank.

Still, Osama is a self-styled Caliph known for his hatred of Jews. Yet, the irony seemed lost on him that he was attempting the diabolical scheme Jewish King David perfected. As the Bible tells it, David infamously ordered Uriah to a certain death in battle to have his way with Uriah’s wife, Bathsheba.

I could go on, but that would defeat the purpose you buying the book. 

Kola Boof’s critics and her fight for recognition

You’ve undoubtedly seen men all over TV waxing expertly on bin Laden’s character, motives, and personal life. They always speak with such intimate knowledge that they come across like his spurned lovers.

The glib Peter Bergen stands out among them. But here’s how Kola dismissed his putative expertise in a recent interview:

BRUCE DUNNE: Peter Bergen, a biographer of Bin Laden, has called you delusional. He says that Osama Bin Laden was never in Morocco in 1996–in fact, I believe he claims that Bin Laden has never been to Morocco period.

KOLA BOOF: Peter Bergen doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about, but I’m sure that the media would take the word of a white man who’s never met Osama against the word of a Black woman who used to share his bed.

Ouch!

So, who you gonna believe: Osama’s biographer, Bergen, or his lover, Boof? I believe Boof. But you can read more on their I-know-him-better-than-you spat here.

That interview stands out because nearly all others were conducted by prissy-talking Barbies. They invariably seem more interested in demeaning Kola as a whore or Osama’s sex slave than in interviewing her about her life.

It hardly matters that Kola promotes herself as an accomplished poet and bestselling novelist. She just happened to have been coerced into a relationship with the world’s most notorious terrorist. 

Interestingly, critics seem more inclined to believe Kola’s tales about procuring arms from Israel for Black Sudanese rebels. These Africans are still trying to defend themselves against genocidal attacks. 

Arab militias have been perpetrating those attacks for years in the Darfur region of Sudan. Her role in their struggle makes her more heroic than Bin Laden could ever be to Muslim jihadists. 

Finally, Kola’s story reminds me of the many commentaries I’ve written on Dutch MP Ayaan Hirsi Ali. Like Ali, Kola describes herself as a Muslim feminist and liberal democrat. And Kola, too, is unabashed in her commitment to modernizing the jihadist, misogynistic, and racist tenets of Islam.